


space is lit

by juliannabear



Category: Solar System (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Astronomy, Planets, Stars, a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliannabear/pseuds/juliannabear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>learn about ~~space~~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. sun & moon: lovers 5evr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sun and the moon fall in love but it crashes quickly tbh I'm not gonna lie to you here

lmfao okay listen up kids here's a story about the sun and the moon lmao it's lit

okay so the sun and moon were raging lesbians (clearly) and they were somehow set up but we'll get to that later

so the Sun is very charismatic and all she does is talk and smile and laugh and she's literally a bubbly ray of light ugh she's too cute

and the moon is literally so emo and mysterious but like in a cute way

also she's gay

it all started when some star told the very gay sun about the very gay moon

“lmfao sun listen up” said the star

“what do u need my dude slice” said the sun

“I heard about this thing, the moon” said the star

“lmfao new phone who dis” said the sun

“omg that's what I said” said the star

“no you didn't you're so fake shut up” said the sun

“anYWAY the moon is apparently v cute and emo” said the star

“is she into fall out boy” said the sun

“she's emo of course” said the star

“oh shit true” said the sun

“she gay too” said the star

“h o l y s h i t” said the sun

“h o l y s h i t” said the star

and the sun’s new mission was to somehow contact the moon

but all the planets were like nooo she's a shut in

and the sun was like shut up I love her

and the planets were like wtf

anyway the sun somehow got in contact with the moon

and this is a Disney movie so they hit it off immediately

Lmao wait this isnt disney  
****

**sun** : hey moon u got kik  
****

**moon** : we r in space  
****

**sun** : tru  
****

**moon** : who dis btw  
****

**sun** : the sun  
****

**moon** : ??  
****

**sun** : u cute  
****

**moon** : not really  
****

**sun** : S tO p

so the sun and moon were like pen pals and writing really cute texts to each other and vaguely tweeting about each other

except that can't happen

they are in space

anyway it was so cute

some ~edgelords~ found it cringe but whatever this isn't a sausage party premiere this is love

anyway so after like 10 light years of talking (I'm not gonna lie here I didn't pay attention in my sixth grade science class I have no clue how long a light year is) the sun and moon decide to go on their first date!!!

except they can't.

their schedules don't match and never will :(  
so they just decide to text and FaceTime all the time

and they luved each other

and they were inseparable

kinda

anYway one day Mars the planet is just like v ;)))) @ the sun and the sun was

like,,, I'm gay

and Mars was like that's completely understandable and I respect who you are I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable I was not aware but I'm glad I am now

and that's how it should be on earth

I think

am I being unknowingly problematic

anyway the moon

we don't talk about her enough so here we go

she shy but she real

she sad but she fierce

she a crippling ball of fear but she can make a mean dumpling

anyway the moon actually used to be bffs with some of the planets

but they weren't nice to her and weren't actually her bffs

so the moon is v !!! when it comes to relationships

and was afraid that the sun was being Fake  
****

**moon** : do u actually love me  
****

**sun** : to the moon and back  
****

**moon** : I  
****

**moon** : r u faking  
****

**sun** : what?  
****

**moon** : like r u faking being in love with me  
****

**sun** : no ily

but this wasn't enough for the moon

like at all

“if I break up with her, I won't have to suffer the heartbreak when she breaks up with me” said the moon

“she's not going to break up with you” said the star

“okay but get this: what if she does” said the moon

“w h at is going on” said the star

the moon thought about it for awhile

tbh she just didn't want to deal with that pain again

and it's not like the moon wanted to break up with sun

the sun was the best thing that's ever happened to her

the sun’s cute little goodnight texts

the sun’s radiant glow

the sun’s stupid puns

but she couldn't deal with the constant worry

she had to do this for herself  
****

**moon** : hey.  
****

**sun** : hitting me with that “hey.” ?  
****

**sun** : what's wrong?  
****

**moon** : we gotta talk.  
****

**sun** : listen  
****

**sun** : I told Mars I was gay and he doesn't mind but we’re just friends I'm v gay like pls don't worry u r the sun in my life;)  
****

**moon** : I  
*MOON THOUGHTS* _I'm gonna miss that fRick_  
****

**moon** : anyway,,,  
****

**moon** : I love u a lot  
****

**sun** : I love u a lot 2! wow! we should d8!  
****

**moon** :but I think we’d be better as friends  
****

**sun** : read 22:34 p.m  
*SUN THOUGHTS* _what is this¿ this¿ I don't deserve this¿ is it because of my lack of eyebrows¿ I lov her wtf is this !!!!!_

and as you can imagine the sun was absoluetly heartbroken 

the sun loved the moon so much, and the moon just ripped her heart out

of course the sun wasn't aware about why the moon did this

and that's what made her so upset 

and eventually the sun's radiant glow turned into hot fire

and she was no longer her cute bubbly self

she was still cute dw

she just wasn't her

  
and like that it was over

sadly

they didn't speak ever again after that

or did they;)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haH this is pure trash I don't know when j wrote this but I decided to finish it and I thought it would be a great post to come back to after my """hiatus""" aka me benign self conscious about my god awful writing anywho bye
> 
> also lowkey stole lol-phan-af's format for her texting fics (like how she has them set up I didn't steal content I sweAr) and I feel god awful about I'm so sorry I just didn't know how else to set it up I'm sorry Bella ILYSM


	2. jupiter gets the scoop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jupiter tries to get the scoop but it doesn't work

hey sinners I'm back with more of this mess

so word spread quickly around the whole solar system that the sun and moon were Done™

and most stars and rocks and planets were shocked

but you know whO WASNT

jupiter

tbh jupiter was L IV I N g for this drama

and no one really knew why??

like they were H E R E for this?

this was the first public relationship between a star and a rock it was important

and if jupiter was going to do anything, they were gonna get some drama and an inside scoop directly from the source

 **jupiter** : heard you and the sun broke up

 **moon** : what the fuck how did you hear that it just happened

 **jupiter** : lmfao it's all over the solar system sweaty:)

 **moon** : no one can be trusted

 **jupiter** : I

 **jupiter** : anyway

 **jupiter** : did she hurt u or smth

 **moon** : no

 **jupiter** : she cheated on you with Mars didn't she

 **moon** : shes gay

 **moon** : wait what if she did

 **jupiter** : she's gay

 **moon** : but what if she did

 **jupiter** : tbh I know ur going through a crisis and all but I'm getting no drama or inside scoop from you this was a waste of my time goodbye

and like that, jupiter knew that they were gonna have to dig deeper into this story

which meant contacting the sun

now jupiter doesn't hate the sun

but they also don't like the sun

the sun doesn't like jupiter

but also doesn't hate jupiter

and both of them don't really know why

they don't get to bond or talk much so their opinions are based off of what they heard about each other

it's just a v neutral ground that they live on

and jupiter wasn't too sure if he wanted to push into the sun’s life

but they did anyway because they thIRST for the drama

 **jupiter** : hey

 **sun** : this is bullying

 **jupiter** : ???????

 **jupiter** : how’s it going

 **sun** : I am on fire

 **jupiter** : same

 **jupiter** : not really

 **jupiter** : but I can relate

 **sun** : you've never had love you idiot

 **jupiter** : okay true

 **jupiter** : but how are you

 **sun** : I'll give you 1 minute to get to the point before I block your number I swear to god

 **jupiter** : how do you feel about your breakup

 **jupiter** : any raging thoughts

 **jupiter** : any revenge plans

 **jupiter** : give me the 411

 **sun** : we don't use numbers we are planets

 **jupiter** : you're not

 **sun** : frick you

 **jupiter** : anyway,,,

 **sun** : I just want her to be happy

 **jupiter** : w h a t

 **sun** : she deserves to be happy. she's special. she's everything.

 **jupiter** : okay no offense

 **jupiter** : but this isn't a Hallmark movie

 **jupiter** : you're allowed to share your feelings

 **jupiter** : she broke ur <3

 **sun** : don't remind me

 **sun** : that's how I really feel

 **jupiter** : either y’all are really fake or y’all are really sappy and I hate this

 **sun** : wh at

jupiter was not getting the gossip they needed

and they had no clue what to do

they tried so hard to uncover the sun and moon’s true feelings but like???its not working???

“what if i stir some drama in the sun and moon community” said jupiter

“you really shouldn't do that” said the star

“okay lay off bitch don't kill my vibe said jupiter

"isn't that a song" said the star

"I don't know what a song is I am a planet not a genius" said jupiter

and with that, they went to create a plan that would surely start some beef

 **jupiter** : listen

 **sun** : please stop this

 **jupiter** : the moon called you out

 **sun** : ??for??

 **jupiter** : she told me that you never loved her and that you were never emotionally present

 **sun** : she didn't

 **jupiter** : she told me

 **sun** : wait you guys talk?

it was at this moment that jupiter knew they screwed up

 **jupiter** : yeah

 **sun** : how long have y’all been talkin’

 **jupiter** : what

 **sun** : g2g I have crops to water

 **jupiter** : ur the sun

 **jupiter** : crops won't survive on u

 **sun** : read 13:37 a.m

 **jupiter** : oh wow look who’s petty

and with that, jupiter knew they messed up with this plan and wished someone would have told them not to do this

but it was too late to apologize (it's too laaaaate)

and now the sun was heated

haha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so bad but I really like the idea of these so I'm going to continue this mess it's so bad and gross and trash but I'm living let me live too


	3. confrontation: a life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oOOOH S H I T

O H S H I T

CONFRONTATION!!! CONFRONTATION!!!

THIS JUST IN:

THE SUN IS GOING TO CONFRONT THE MOON!!

BUT PLOT TWIST

THE MOON IS GOING TO CONFRONT THE SUN!!

SHIT'S ABT TO GO D O W N

 **sun** : heard ur talkin shit

 **moon** : no offense

 **moon** : but u leave me on read

 **moon** : and this is how ur gonna start a convo

 **sun** : lmao why u out here tellin' people I wasn't there for you

 **sun** : and why you out here speaking to jupiter

 **moon** : 1.) I didn't tell that to anyone bc it's not the truth

 **moon** : 2.) I've spoken to them literally once and all they wanted was the "gossip" on our breakup

 **moon** : sorry btw

 **sun** : that's not what they said though

 **moon** : wtf

 **moon** : I swear to you I never said that

 **sun** : tbh I don't believe you

 **moon** : what

 **sun** : you also said you loved me

 **sun** : but clearly that was false

 **moon** : stop

 **sun** : no it's the truth

 **sun** : I was nothing but good to you

 **sun** : I love you

 **moon** : I love you too

 **sun** : bullshit

the moon types out a paragraph describing the situation

her fear of losing the sun

her constant anxiety

but she doesn't send it

she can't 

she knows the sun hates her now and has to accept it

yet she doesn't want to accept it

the moon shrinks

becoming a small sliver instead of the big rock she was

the sun was ecstatic 

she just roasted the love of her life

probably not something to be excited about tbh

but the sun uses humor to cope

and it's all she can do

however, deep down, the sun regrets that

she knows the moon well

more than anyone else

and knows that something must've been wrong in order for the moon to break up with her

and she knows that the moon would never EVER say anything like that about her

but she doesn't say anything

she's accepted the fact that the moon hates her now

but she doesn't want to accept it

the whole solar system is still heartbroken over this

they couldn't believe that two star crossed lovers could split

it left them with no hope

and everyone was just in an upset state

except for Venus

she was glad to see the moon in pain

and Jupiter was feeding off this drama to quench their thirst for it (that doesn't make sense but oh well)

they started this whole thing

kind of 

 **moon** : fuck you

 **jupiter** : new phone who dis

 **moon** : you're out here spreading rumors about me saying shit I would never say

 **moon** : you just ruined any chance of me and the sun getting back together

 **moon** : I can't believe you

 **jupiter** : y'all broke up for a reason tho

 **moon** : stop

 **jupiter** : I'm sorry

 **jupiter** : sorry that y'all couldn't give me some gossips and I had to start it

 **moon** : what the fuck

 **moon** : you're sick

 **jupiter** : true I think I have the flu

 **moon** : you can't start gossip about others' lives

 **moon** : you don't know the impact it could have

 **jupiter** : sorry?? not rlly tbqh im living for this

 **moon** : I hate you 

 **jupiter** : rt

 **moon** : read 17:24 am

 **jupiter** : this has been Robbarazzi™ starring Robbie Shapiro

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am I still writing this trash


	4. she's beauty she's grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we get to know a bit abt venus, how fucking jealous she was of the moon

she's beauty

she's grace

she's the most beautiful planet in this place

she's v e n u s !!!

venus

goddess of beauty and love

and a v bright planet

but not bright enough

in fact, venus is the second brightest natural object in the sky

and of course

the moon is first

the moon owned that title and no one was taking it lmfao

but at first venus didn't know that

she was living her life, slaying the god damn solar system

she didn't have time to think about who was brighter

"I'm just so gr8 there's no one who could be brighter than me" she thought

and all the other planets knew about the moon

they just didn't tell her

they wanted to k i l l 

however

s h e  c o u l d  k i l l

but they were all so sick of listening to venus boast and brag abt how she was the brightest

like honey

no

tbh the moon was too pure, too sweet to get involved in this

but the planets decided to F E A S T on Venus' disappointment and this drama

 **saturn** : oi princess

 **mars** : don't call her that she's a woman she deserves respect

 **saturn** :,,,,,

 **saturn** : oi princess

 **venus** : ?yes

 **jupiter** : wait guys I'm saying the news 

 **saturn** : no I'm doing it

 **jupiter** : I L I V E FOR THE D R A M A

 **jupiter** : I T H I R S T

 **saturn** : okay chill shit

 **venus** : I'm busy rn so can you get on with this nonsense

 **saturn** : busy doing what

 **saturn** : wait let me guess

 **venus** : being the brightest

 **saturn** : being the brightest

 **saturn** : no offense but I hate you a l o t

 **jupiter** : anyway

 **jupiter** : we got some news 4 u princess

 **mars** : stop!! calling!! her!! princess!! 

 **venus** : no it's fine I am a princess

 **mars** : I hate everyone here

 **jupiter** : ur not the brightest lmfao soz m8

 **venus** : wot

 **jupiter** : the moon

 **jupiter** : she brighter

 **jupiter** : but u second brightest

 **venus** : who the fuck are you

 **mars** : it's starting

 **venus** : to come into my home

 **venus** : insult my title

 **venus** : degrade me as a human being

 **saturn** : ur a planet princess

 **venus** : who the fuck is the moon anyway 

 **saturn** : the brightest

 **jupiter** : I'm cackling

 **saturn** : anyway we gotta go bye 2nd brightest!! <3

 **jupiter** : <3

 **mars** : bye

 **saturn** : literally mars bar here can't be a part of our missions anymore 

venus was O U T R A G E D

she'd never seen the moon before

so she doesn't know if it's tru

but she needed to go on a ~heist~ to get a photo of the moon

 **venus** : hey.

 **mars** : hello

 **venus** : can u do me a favor

 **mars** : sure

 **venus** : can you get a picture of the moon  for me

 **mars** : I mean I would

 **mars** : but I can't

 **venus** : why the fuck not

 **mars** : I'm the farthest from her

 **mars** : sorry 

 **venus** : fuck

 **mars** : ask a star

and thus, venus asked a star

and that star came thru fam

and venus was shocked

the moon really was the brightest

what can she do?

text the moon and convince the moon to give up her title? 

of course

 **venus** : hey! :p

 **moon** : who's this?

 **venus** : it's venus, aha! :P

 **moon** :??

 **venus** : the brightest object in the sky haha :p

 **moon** : oh

 **moon** : um

 **moon** : well

 **moon** : slight issue

 **moon** : that's me

 **venus** : ?? uwu 

 **moon** : I'm the brightest actually

 **moon** : sorry 

 **venus** : oh yeah! ahaha just wanted to see if that was true or not :p

 **moon** : yeah 

 **moon** : sorry <3

 **venus** : no worries! :)

 **venus** : so,,,

 **venus** : can I have your title? haha:p

 **moon** : what

 **moon** : no? sorry

 **venus** : why the fuck not

 **moon** : I'm really sorry? that's my title though.

 **venus** : you didn't even work for it

 **moon** : neither did you

 **moon** : but that's none of my business

 **venus** : fuck you

 **moon** : listen

 **moon** : ur a real sweetheart okay

 **moon** : u don't need to be the brightest

 **moon** : u just need to be you

 **venus** : boy if you don't shut the fuck up with this positivity shit I'll knock you into next tuesday 

 **moon** : what is Tuesday 

 **venus** : bye bitch 

the moon was so confused!!! like what the fuck was going on!!! who is this!! what is happening!!! 

like even if the moon gave venus the title of the brightest, it doesn't mean anything

the moon will still be and always will be the brightest 

the moon didn't have time for this shit tbh

she had a job to do

venus was FUMING 

like what the fuck is this

venus needed revenge

R E V E N G E

and every so often she would appear in the sky near the moon

she was never as bright as the moon when she appeared

but she was close

she was beautiful in the sky

and so was the moon

they were frenemies by default 

nice 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the worst chapter so far tbh this is so bad
> 
> also s/o to lol-phan-af she goes to school tomorrow ilysm 
> 
> s/o to schaethdyn too SLB is everything;) ilysm


	5. boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **the title is just a joke, please do not take offense to it**
> 
> jupiter is being an asshole per usual

jupiter is a little fucking bitch

I'm sure we're well aware of that by now

their thirst for the drama was so real

if a tidbit of gossip reached them, they'd be satisfied 

for like 12 minutes

like Jesus and the Last Supper

finest bread I will provide, till their hearts be satisfied

i go to a catholic school fuck

anyway,,,

there were times where jupiters thirst for drama was b a d

like dehydration and death

and jupiter had to fend for themself 

but here's the thing

jupiter has no respect or remorse for anyone 

and doesn't seem to understand that what they do isn't helping or shedding light onto a situation??

but jupiter didn't give a fuck

 **jupiter** : lmaaoooo that was hype

 **saturn** : no I'm never making plans with you again 

 **saturn** : you convinced new stars that alien life doesn't fucking exist

 **jupiter** : I didn't convince them

 **jupiter** : I told them the fucking truth

 **saturn** : bruh

 **mars** : there's water on me

 **mars** : and there's life that can survive on me

 **jupiter** : how would I know? how do I know ur not lying? 

 **mars** : I don't lie you tow truck idiot

 **jupiter** : is that an insult

 **jupiter** : because I literally can't tell

 **saturn** : what's a tow truck

 **jupiter** : idk

 **mars** : idk

 **saturn** : venus still hates us

 **jupiter** : nice

 **saturn** : not nice fucker

 **jupiter** : salty?

 **saturn** : lowkey

 **mars** : I have no idea what is going on

 **saturn** : ur too pure bb <3

 **mars** : ,,,

 **mars** : I have no idea what is going on

 **jupiter** : we still haven't told Venus about the sun and moon

 **saturn** : yeah and we probably shouldn't

 **jupiter** : why the fuck not

 **mars** : because Venus clearly doesn't like the moon? we've all witnessed that firsthand? and the moon doesn't deserve that?

 **jupiter** : I deserve this drama

 **mars** : the moon is still a crescent you indecent cow

 **mars** : that means she's upset

 **jupiter** :if she's already upset what's there to lose

 **saturn** : you're awful

 **saturn** : also I hate seeing venus upset

 **mars** : whY

 **saturn** : I lov her

 **jupiter** : OH SHIT (OH SHIT)

 **saturn** : oh fuck

 **saturn** : if you tell anyone you fucking snitch

 **saturn** :I'll choke you with each and every one of my rings until they slice your throat 

 **jupiter** : gotta go 

now

jupiter is faced with a dilemma 

theyve been given the scoop

not just any scoop

but _t h e s c o o p_

like a scoop of birthday cake ice cream with buttercream frosting and cake bits inside

the best scoop

but it involves their best friend in the whole universe

would jupiter really risk a friendship

not just any friendship

but their best friendship

for their thirst of drama?

 **jupiter** : hey second brightest

 **venus** : fuck you

 **jupiter** : what's hangin

 **venus** : what do you want 

 **jupiter** : lmao

 **jupiter** : the moon and the sun broke up

 **venus** : WH at

 **venus** : W H A T

 **venus** : OH SHIT

 **venus** : THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 **venus** : AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 **jupiter** : SA MMME

 **venus** : thE sUN IS TOO GOOD FOR HER

 **venus** : I LOV THE SUN

 **jupiter** : noted

 **venus** : what

 **jupiter** : nothing

 **jupiter** : anyway,,,,,

 **jupiter** : another thing,,,,

(do it, do it, do it) oh don't do it

 **jupiter** : saturn likes you

(yuh) oh my god

 **venus** : what

 **venus** : gross

 **jupiter** : what

 **venus** : he's gross 

 **jupiter** : no he's not 

 **venus** : yes he fucking is

 **venus** : those rings he has around him

 **venus** : creepy

 **venus** : plus he talks to you

 **venus** : and you know the saying 

 **jupiter** : you're an awful person

 **venus** : you're one to talk?

 **jupiter** : I am a saint

 **venus** : a saint of sin fucker

 **jupiter** : I 

 **venus** : goodbye stupid jupiter

 **jupiter** : goodbye vague as fuck venus

 **venus** : what does that even mean

 **jupiter** : I've seen your twitter

 **jupiter** : "they stole my spotlight right from me"

 **venus** : goodbye 

this is when Jupiter realized they needed to chill 

but they couldn't now

theyve been given more scoop

they didn't know what to do

they've ruined lives

and they couldn't stop this

how did they get like this?

they didn't know

 **mars** : you told

 **jupiter** : what

 **mars** : you told venus

 **mars** : ur dead 

 **jupiter** : how do you know

 **mars** : did you or did you not

 **jupiter** : I don't have to answer

 **mars** : you're right

 **mars** : you don't have to answer

 **mars** : because you'll be dead before you can admit it

 **jupiter** : don't tell him

 **mars** : I don't keep secrets

 **mars** : sorry bud

 **jupiter** : I thought we were friends

 **mars** : we are

 **jupiter** : then help a friend out

 **mars** : fine

 **mars** : I won't tell him

 **mars** : you will

 **jupiter** : can't do that soz

 **mars** : okay then I'll do it

 **jupiter** : you're awful

 **mars** : I'm pure

 **jupiter** : fucker

this could be the last episode of Robbarazzi™ starring Robbie Shapiro 

but it probably won't be because it's jupiter

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when ur bff gives u a s/o and ur completely overwhelmed and shocked that people are reading this trash
> 
> half of this deleted which sucks bc it's even worse now yikes


	6. introducing: mer-cutie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally jupiter is a fucking idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i am back from my hiatus!! and by hiatus i literally mean me getting self conscious about writing again!! also because ive been gone so long, you might want to re read chapter 5 so you get what's going on !!!!! or go the extra mile and re read the whole thing because its all i have going for me

jupiter is really really stupid

they're greedy and they only think of them self

which isn't gr8

jupiter had a choice

they could either tell saturn about what happened

or let mars tell saturn about what happened

or veNUS CAN COME IN AND LITERALLY RUIN EVERYTHING

 **venus:** hey

 **saturn:** oh hey!!

 **venus:** we gotta talk m8

 **saturn:** yeah of course!! is everything alright?

 **venus:** stop

 **saturn:** whats wrong

 **venus:** u r gross

 **saturn:** trur

 **venus:** we are friends

 **venus:** pals

 **venus:** amigos

 **venus:** chums

 **venus:** string beans

 **saturn:** what is a stringed bean

 **venus:** idk

 **venus:** anyway

 **venus:** we are friends

 **venus:** pals

 **venus:** amigos

 **saturn:** okay??? 

 **venus:** stop having a crush on me

 **saturn:** what

 **venus:** it's not cute it's gross u r gross

 **saturn:** i dont ??? like you????

 **venus:** u don't have to lie

 **venus:** I know i'm pretty cute

 **venus:** but u r not 

 **venus:** so

 **saturn:** ??????????

 **venus:** jupiter told me bye

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what the fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how could jupiter betray their own best friend

for the drama

the tea, if you will

lmao planets don't know what tea is

 **saturn:** hisssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 **jupiter:** ???????

 **saturn:** h i s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s

 **jupiter:** excuse me?

 **saturn:** oh nothing

 **saturn:** just speaking in your native language

 **saturn:** snake

 **jupiter:** oh shit

 **saturn:** you told

 **jupiter:** read 15:37 a .m

 **saturn:** you're literally  not allowed to be petty right now

 **jupiter:** i want to apologize

 **jupiter:** but i cant sorry babe

 **saturn:** fucker

 **saturn:** the only person i loved

 **saturn:** the only person i was and will EVER be interested in

 **saturn:** and you fucked it up

 **jupiter:** she??didnt??like??you??anyway??

 **saturn:** do you not realize what you are? you're a hurricane. you destroy everything in your path-relationships, friendships, lives. you don't think about the consequences that your actions have. you're selfish, you're greedy, and to think i EVER called you my best friend. please do not speak to me anymore, I can't handle it.

jupiter: lmao you took that from a lifetime original movie im gonna piss myself  bye

OH SHIT (OH SHIT)

why is the solar system falling apart the fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first the hottest couple of the lightyear break up

and now two bffz break up

is there any happiness in this solar system ???

yes !!!!

lets shift gears away from this mess and focus on somebody new:

mercury !!!!!!!!!!

mercury is pure, sweet, innocent and lovely

she is the kindest of all the planets and doesn't get much recognition

she wants everyone to be happy and love each other

she is gentile and kind

she is trustworthy 

she's one of those good southern moms who bakes cookies and call everyone "love" and "sugar"

and like, isn't racist or homophobic

and isn't voting for trump

and gives out full sized candy bars on halloween

on a scale of 1-10 im probably at 4 for being problematic

anyway

she is easy

breezy

beautiful

c o v e r g i r l!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mars is her best and only friend

and she also has the biggest crush on him !!!!

but she'll never tell him ever

because she doesn't want to ruin the best friendship she has

 **mars:** OOOOH IM PISSED

 **mercury:** :( what's wrong

 **mars:** JUPITER TOLD VENUS ABOUT SATURN

 **mercury:** :(((( noooo!!!!

 **mercury:** why are they always starting drama

 **mars:** BECAUSE THEY LOVE THE ATTENTION

 **mars:** AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PICK SIDES

 **mars:** BUT THEY'LL EXPECT ME TO

 **mercury:** well, who's side would you pick?

 **mars:** S A T U R N

 **mercury:** that's the right side. jupiter was in the wrong. it's not picking sides when you have the full facts.

 **mars:** why are you so kind

 **mercury:** :)

 **mars:** i miss you

 **mars:** like a lot

 **mercury:** i miss u too :/

 **mars:** it was easy to get to you when it was just earth who was in the way

 **mars:** but since venus is trying to get closer to the sun

 **mars:** it's just really difficult and I'm sorry

 **mercury:** don't apologize it's not your fault 

 **mars:** i know 

 **mars:** also

 **mars:** don't talk to jupiter

 **mars:** they're nothing but bad news

 **mars:** they'll start drama on anyone.

 **mars:** and you, of all planets and stars, don't deserve it.

 **mars:** I'm gonna go fuck with the mars rover. bye lovely

 **mercury:** bye  <3

mercury practically melted when mars called her lovely

also she's literally right next to the sun so that too

it was their friendship

she knew he didnt mean anything more than what he said

she knew him too well

but he was right about jupiter

she was going to avoid them at all costs

because she couldn't handle being hurt

speaking of pain

whats going on with venus and the sun ???????

;)))) or :((((((

 **venus:** hey boo

 **sun:** I

 **venus:** heard ur single now ;)

 **sun:** I guess so

 **venus:** ;)))))))

 **sun:** I can't

 **venus:** why not

 **sun:** because the moon told me about how much you hurt her

 **sun:** and I'm still in love with her

 **sun:** also were you not dating saturn

 **venus:** im being insulted

 **venus:** he's actually disgusting and i cant believe you'd say something like that

 **sun:** saturn is a total sweetheart what the fuvdjjwqhai

 **venus:** jus go out with me

 **sun:** no

 **venus:** we can make the moon jealous

 **sun:** no

 **venus:** we can be the hottest couple of the century

 **sun:** no

 **venus:** we would have the cutest stars

 **sun:** okay

 **venus:** really

 **sun:** no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **sun:** goodbye venus

 **venus:** bye bye fucker

THIS JUST IN

THE SUN DOES NOT LOVE THE MOON

THE SUN IS I N  L O V E WITH THE MOON

STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and venus now knows that

and venus also is friends with jupiter

and what she did next will shock you!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHHA MY WRITING IS SO BAD


End file.
